Gifts Come In Many Different Packages
(Note: The Rocky Mountain Lions Eye Bank is proud to have been the eye bank that bridged the connection between Dorrine and her cornea donor. We'd like to thank her for sharing this moving story.)
Everyone has a story to tell; some sad, some happy and some inspirational. Then there are the stories that demonstrate all of those emotions and more. This true story I share is my story. I’m sure you can relate some part of your life to the winding road I’ve traveled.
It was June 19, 1967. It is a day I will never forget, maybe because it made my whole life change in an instant. We were spending the day at my grandparent’s house just outside of Isabel, SD as we did a lot. We visited my grandparents often and helped them with chores. They had a garden that we would pick the produce and sometimes help tidy up the yard. Being eight years old I was somewhat limited in what I could do to help out so I decided to take a glass of water to an older cousin whom was mowing the lawn. Going around the corner of the house I stopped instantly and fell to my knees. I wasn’t sure at first what happened but I knew it was the worst pain I had ever experienced in my life. All I could do is scream, it was a blood curdling scream. A rock had hit me in my left eye. Quickly my Grandpa scooped me up ever so gently in his big arms and held me close to him. My Grandma, Aunt and Mom rushed to me and bundled my head in a lot of ice and towels.
Minutes later my parents quickly put me in the backseat and soon we were on our way to the nearest hospital, about 45 miles away, Eagle Butte, SD. Going into shock and becoming very nauseated, I began throwing up. I remember my Mom becoming frantic as she thought it was blood. Once we reached the hospital, they quickly checked my vitals and made sure I was stable enough to be transported. Quickly we were on our way to Rapid City, SD. Once we got there an eye specialist named Dr. Poulmerton was on hand and I went through emergency surgery. After hours of surgery he saved my eye! That sounds like good news, however, the damage was too extensive and the rock had distorted my pupil causing Traumatic Cataract O.S. I had lost all vision in my left eye except for being able to see dim lights close up. I would be legally blind in that eye for the rest of my life. I may not have sight in it but I was thankful I had my eye.
For the next six months I was literally strapped to a hospital bed for fear that getting out of bed and become dizzy and disoriented would result in a fall that would do further damage. It was incredibly hard and sad for me. My family was so far away and not able to stay with me. I remember using my one good eye to look out the hospital window, up the hill at Dinosaur Park day after day seeing delighted kids playing with their family and friends. I felt like I was being punished and began to despise Dinosaur Park.
After six months they told me I was able to go home. I was so excited that I’d be home with my family and friends for the Holidays! When I tried to stand up I fell. Being bedridden for six months my muscles had deterioted and I had to get used to having one eye, which meant I had different depth perception than before. I had to relearn to walk.
I came home; nevertheless once again I was excluded from going outside and playing with my sisters, cousins and friends because of the doctor’s stipulations to make sure I wouldn’t get hurt. That year there would be no snowmen, no sledding, no Christmas caroling and no snow angels. For a second time all I could do is watch out the window. Even Christmas gifts were scarce as my parents had previously spent all the money they had to see me when they could while I was in Rapid City, SD.
Not being able to see that well and still under doctor’s orders I didn’t go back to school after Christmas break. Once again I felt ostracized. However, as winter became Spring I got to go out a little more as time went by. I was so happy to have a little freedom at last. Finally I could be a kid and play with other kids. That is when I found out how cruel kids could be. I was teased, mocked and laughed at relentlessly all because I had a patch on my eye.
Thoughts would go through my mind. Didn’t they know it was a freak accident, not my fault? I was only eight! Why would they do this to me? Didn’t they know that I’d rather have both eyes and have been able to play with them? Why didn’t they understand? Why would they be cruel when I had lost so much? Even though this did hurt me, it also made me a stronger person. I may not have the advantage of seeing things from both eyes like them but I had a unique way of looking at things. I made my mind up that I wouldn’t let this hinder me.
Eventually I returned to school and lived my life always being compassionate and caring towards others. I didn’t let anything or anyone tell me I couldn’t do anything because of my eye. Most people never noticed that my pupil had been shattered.
To think that happened 44 years ago. Eventually I married and divorced but had four wonderful children and now I have five grandchildren and love being a grandma. I am thankful I have moved on and have so many wonderful things in my life.
However, from time to time I have wondered what it would be like to see out of both eyes.
September of last year my left eye began to itch and became infected. I went to the doctor l and was referred to an eye doctor whom gave me medical drops and a contact lens to wear. A couple of months later I had wiped my eye and out came a small sharp fragment. It was the rock that had assaulted my eye! Soon my eye became very infected and they had tried several drops and referred me to an eye specialist. The specialist looked at it and shook his head. My heart fell into my stomach. I knew the news wasn’t good. He told me I had three options, none of which I liked: They could shoot alcohol behind the eye and deaden it which would cause the area around the eye to droop, take the eye out and replace it with a glass eye, or remove the eye and stich the eyelid shut. He said it so matter of factly like asking if I wanted a hamburger or cheeseburger. No emotion, no caring or compassion anywhere to be found. I was in shock and upset. Thankfully my daughter was there and asked him to explain the procedures. He told her that we could look them up on the internet. His reply furthered my apprehensions and his attitude further upset my daughter. I left his office feeling very down.
I went to my family physician and explained to her, what had happened and how we felt. She looked the different procedures up on the internet and printed them out for me. At the urging of my family I also asked her if there was anyone one else I could go see for a second opinion. She said she would see what she could do. All I could do is pray that there was someone else that could save my eye or at least try.
The next morning my doctor called me and told me she had set up an appointment to see a specialist, Dr. Wright, in Rapid City, SD. It was a start but I was still afraid of what I’d hear. All I could do is hope and pray that they could save my eye, even if I wouldn’t be able to see out of it. It would be my eye. I thought it was amazing that my 1st eye surgery had been done in Rapid City and 44 years later I would be back in Rapid City, SD. Who would have ever thought that the doctors I was about to see had studied under Dr. Poulmerton, the eye specialist whom did my surgery as a child.
On the day of my appointment I was greeted by several caring and respectful people. I instantly felt at ease with them. I thought to myself they seemed to have such compassion for what they do. Its’ remarkable the difference a positive attitude can make. No one made any promises about saving my eye but they gave me eye drops to use to clear up the infection and asked me to return in three days to see the progress.
Three days later I went back Dr. Wright’s office. He examined the eye and said “I hope you don’t mind but I myself would like Dr. Slingby to take a look at this eye. There is a lot of damage and I’d like to get his opinion on it.”
Shortly thereafter, Dr. Slingby came in and studied it. Before long they asked me to wait patiently as they would be right back. They needed to discuss what they thought would be the best course of action to take. It was just a short while but to me it seemed eternity, like that of a child wanting to open their presents on Christmas morning. I closed my eyes. Would it be good news and they could save my eye or bad news and it would have to go? My fingers gripped the arms of the chair when they entered the room. I could barely breathe. Please God I silently prayed to myself. Opening my eyes I was ready to face my fate.
“I think we might have some good news for you but it’s not going to be easy. It will require a long process, about 2 years. But we feel we might be able to make you once again see out of that eye.” Dr. Wright said.
Did he just tell me I might be able to see again?! Not only were they going to save my eye they were going to try to fix it. 44 Years later and they were going try fixing it. It was so much more than I had ever hoped for. The compassion these people had shown me made me totally trust them. I knew in my heart there was only one decision.
The doctor’s went on to explain about getting a cornea transplant. I was almost too stunned to speak but I uttered the words, “I put my faith in you and I’m in your hands. Do what you think is best. I don’t know what it would be like to see with both eyes again.”
Over the next several weeks appointments that consisted of pictures and measuring the eye were a daily part of my regime. After a couple of weeks the date had been set. I would go into surgery October 18, 2011.
Soon the day came. It was early in the morning. Two daughters and my cousin were with me. My cousin was the one whom was mowing the lawn at the time of the accident. I asked her if she would like to be there for the surgery and she told me that was the nicest thing I could have asked. Thinking about it, it could possibly be a healing moment for her as well. I never once felt harsh feeling towards her as I knew it was a freak accident. I was also glad to have her there as not only was she my cousin but also a great friend.
I went quickly into surgery and several hours later I came out of surgery. I had some complications and we weren’t sure if the surgery would hold but with my good eye I could see my two daughters and my cousin their faces so full of concern. The cornea had been stiched into place and the cataract had been removed, however, they couldn’t put the lens into place as my eye began to hemmorage caused by a coughing spell. We would have to wait until the next day to see the outcome.
The next day we were back in the doctor’s office for a check up and I could see tears welling up in their eyes. My eye was watery and I couldn’t see anything straight ahead but they held up 3 fingers which were blurry but I counted them. Then came everyone else’s’ happy tears. They flowed like the great Missouri River. All I could say is, “Please don’t, not in front of me. It will make me want to cry too.”
Everyone was so happy. They quickly called home and shared the news and they cried all the happy tears with each other. All I could think of is all the people who helped me and so many others. They may have done the surgery on my eye but they touched my heart with a happiness they will never know. More than I can ever put into words. Not only how much it meant to me but how happy I could see it made my family and friends.
We had to stay in Rapid City for another week due to complications and I went to daily checkup appointments and had to undergo another surgery to relieve the pressure by putting a drain tube in the eye. This was done by a third doctor, Dr. Nixon, whom specializes in Glaucoma.
Finally we got to go home. This was followed by weeks of appointments every two or three days, then they turned to weekly appointments, bi-weekly appointments and the next appointment I go to will be a whole month from my last appointment I had.
Daily I think of the donor and their family. My heart goes out to them for their loss as I know so much about loss. They gave me a chance at seeing and I feel so close to them, they are in my heart. They say the eyes are the window to a person’s soul and if that is the case I can’t see inside myself but I feel in my heart, my donor was a great compassionate person and I am very thankful and honored at having this gift and chance.
As in life nothing is perfect, my surgery had some minor complications such as hemorrhaging and variations in pressure. This has delayed the healing process which is not finished but as each day goes by my eye gets better and I have the hope of seeing again. A hope I had never dared to dream of or wish for. I’m still doctoring and have spent many days traveling back and forth from Rapid City with the help of family and friends and may have to have a couple of minor adjustment surgeries or procedures, only God knows what the future holds for me.
Nevertheless, I am glad to have such wonderful and inspirational people in my life and that in itself is a miracle.